{"id":6635,"date":"2018-05-08T17:36:46","date_gmt":"2018-05-08T15:36:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.samdb.co.za\/blogs\/?p=6635"},"modified":"2018-05-08T17:44:44","modified_gmt":"2018-05-08T15:44:44","slug":"who-passed-and-who-failed-on-the-roast-of-somizi-scorecard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.samdb.co.za\/blogs\/blog\/2018\/05\/08\/who-passed-and-who-failed-on-the-roast-of-somizi-scorecard\/","title":{"rendered":"Who Passed And Who Failed On The Roast Of Somizi Scorecard?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3061\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.samdb.co.za\/blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Showmax_black.jpg?resize=400%2C71\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"71\" \/><\/p>\n<p>The celebrities on stage at the Comedy Central Roast of Somizi had over 5.5m followers on Twitter, so it\u2019s no surprise the Roast trended there. But how did the celebs handle the live audience? Read our R18 scorecard below, then go watch the extended, uncensored version that\u2019s now on Showmax, and let us know how you\u2019d score them, using #roastza on social media.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-6636\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.samdb.co.za\/blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/Roast-of-Somizi.jpg?resize=450%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.samdb.co.za\/blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/Roast-of-Somizi.jpg?w=450&amp;ssl=1 450w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.samdb.co.za\/blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/Roast-of-Somizi.jpg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px\" \/><\/p>\n<h3>SKHUMBA<\/h3>\n<p>Pre-roast fear factor: 9\/10<\/p>\n<p>Hottest roast: To Gareth Cliff: \u201cYou know you are useless in life when you leave a show and no one cries. When you left Idols, no one&#8230; Not even Unathi.\u201d<br \/>\nColdest shade: \u201cI\u2019m the face of McCafe: happy, bright, exciting. And DSTV. You have OLX. Ugly, old, difficult to sell.\u201d Somizi<\/p>\n<p>Post-roast rating: 10\/10<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Skhumba Highlights | Comedy Central Roast of Somizi | Showmax\" width=\"750\" height=\"422\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/nvayDAkBW1o?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3>JOANNE JOSEPH<\/h3>\n<p>Pre-roast fear factor: 6\/10<\/p>\n<p>Hottest roast: \u201cSomizi, I love you but you were really crap in Sarafina when you tried to play that straight guy.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Coldest shade: \u201cJoanne, you went from a national TV station to a regional radio station \u2013 your career is in reverse. You\u2019re like the Benjamin Button of South African media. What\u2019s next for you? Touch HD?\u201d Gareth Cliff<\/p>\n<p>Post-roast rating: 9\/10<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Joanne Joseph Highlights | Comedy Central Roast of Somizi | Showmax\" width=\"750\" height=\"422\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/pNMB1gYqsCw?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3>SCHALK BEZUIDENHOUT<\/h3>\n<p>Pre-roast fear factor: 6\/10<\/p>\n<p>Hottest roast: \u201cI\u2019m very sad that you\u2019re no longer single. The last time I had sex with someone as beautiful as you was when I was f**king Maps Maponyane\u2026 You know the guilty smile he has on those Samsung ads? That\u2019s because he exploded harder than the Galaxy Note 7.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Hottest roast [alternate, safer version]: \u201cGareth, I don\u2019t understand how there\u2019s so much hatred coming out of your mouth when so many men have put love inside it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Coldest shade: \u201cSchalk, you look poor, like you\u2019ve wasted your white privilege&#8230; We take one look at you and we know you don\u2019t have the land.\u201d Skhumba<\/p>\n<p>Post-roast rating: 8\/10<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Schalk Bezuidenhout Highlights | Comedy Central Roast of Somizi | Showmax\" width=\"750\" height=\"422\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/G9oD7XG7tI4?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3>NOMZAMO MBATHA<\/h3>\n<p>Pre-roast fear factor: 7\/10<\/p>\n<p>Hottest roast: To Gareth Cliff: \u201cHow does it feel to be back on TV? Don\u2019t get used to it; it\u2019s won\u2019t last very long.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Coldest shade: \u201cShe&#8217;s actually done a lot for the LGBTI&#8230; No, she has. She&#8217;s dated more famous gay men than I have.\u201d Somizi<\/p>\n<p>Post-roast rating: 8\/10<\/p>\n<h3>DJ FRESH<br \/>\nPre-roast fear factor: 8\/10<\/h3>\n<p>Hottest roast: \u201cThis is probably the biggest audience you\u2019ve had since 5FM; how does it feel? You know, you\u2019ve lost so much relevance that nobody even hates you anymore&#8230; The moral of the Gareth Cliff story is, \u2018Don\u2019t start a spaza radio&#8230;\u2019\u201d<br \/>\nColdest shade: \u201cFresh has released 38 albums. Well, since he doesn\u2019t actually produce music like some of us, he\u2019s just released 38 playlists. Fresh, we all like burning mix CDs for our friends, but we don&#8217;t call it a career.\u201d Kurt Darren<\/p>\n<p>Post-roast rating: 8\/10<\/p>\n<h3>FIKILE MBALULA<\/h3>\n<p>Pre-roast fear factor: 10\/10<\/p>\n<p>Hottest roast: \u201cNtsiki, you are living proof that fame has a plus one\u2026 Your sister is famous for being the lead singer in Bongo Muffin and you are just an angry muffin.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Coldest shade: \u201cYou are useless&#8230; The ANC promoted Bathabile Dlamini. And they demoted you. And you are sober.\u201d Skhumba<\/p>\n<p>Post-roast rating: 8\/10<\/p>\n<h3>KURT DARREN<\/h3>\n<p>Pre-roast fear factor: 9\/10<\/p>\n<p>Hottest roast: \u201cSomizi, I did some research before I came here. I even read your book. Your book is so thin, I use it as a bookmark when I read the newspaper.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Coldest shade: \u201cKurt Darren at the moment doesn&#8217;t look like Bruce Jenner before the operation or after the operation. He looks like Bruce Jenner when he was in that halfway-through phase. When you&#8217;re not sure if he&#8217;s a 50-year old man or a 60-year old lesbian.\u201d Schalk Bezuidenhout<\/p>\n<p>Post-roast rating: 8\/10<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Kurt Darren Highlights | Comedy Central Roast of Somizi | Showmax\" width=\"750\" height=\"422\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/_hVIphy-OWA?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3>NTSIKI MAZWAI<\/h3>\n<p>Pre-roast fear factor: 7\/10<\/p>\n<p>Hottest roast: \u201cDJ Fresh. The Mmusi Maimane of the entertainment industry. I remember when you went to 5FM, you even changed your accent and everything, hey bru?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Coldest shade: \u201cI went onto your Instagram and it said you were a poet. I read some of your poetry and it said you\u2019re not a poet.\u201d Schalk Bezuidenhout<\/p>\n<p>Post-roast rating: 3\/10<\/p>\n<p>Let us know on social media how you\u2019d have scored the celebs, using <strong>#roastza<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Disclaimer:<\/strong> The show you\u2019re about to watch is not for sensitive viewers. It contains commentary littered with strong language, prejudice, personal insults, unsavoury references to participants\u2019 family members, disagreeable body part comparisons, and much, much more. We\u2019re being serious here: if you are under 18 or easily offended, this is not the show for you.<\/p>\n<p>But as roast master Gareth Cliff said, \u201cIt\u2019s an entertainment show. No one in their right mind is going to take this seriously. It\u2019s like Twitter\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.showmax.com\/burn-generator\/embed.html\" width=\"100%\" height=\"355\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The celebrities on stage at the Comedy Central Roast of Somizi had over 5.5m followers on Twitter, so it\u2019s no surprise the Roast trended there. But how did the celebs handle the live audience? Read our R18 scorecard below, then go watch the extended, uncensored version that\u2019s now on Showmax, and let us know how&hellip; <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.samdb.co.za\/blogs\/blog\/2018\/05\/08\/who-passed-and-who-failed-on-the-roast-of-somizi-scorecard\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Who Passed And Who Failed On The Roast Of Somizi Scorecard?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[97],"tags":[110],"class_list":["post-6635","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-online","tag-showmax","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.samdb.co.za\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6635","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.samdb.co.za\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.samdb.co.za\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.samdb.co.za\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.samdb.co.za\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6635"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.samdb.co.za\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6635\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.samdb.co.za\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6635"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.samdb.co.za\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6635"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.samdb.co.za\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6635"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}